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The Malthusian Trap Song

By James Babcock

On second thought, maybe farming was a mistake

To the melody of The Garden Song, but in a minor key.

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Lyrics

Dawn to dusk, row by row, better make this garden grow
Move your feet with a plow in tow, on a piece of fertile ground
Inch by inch, blow by blow, gonna take these crops you sow,
From the peasants down below, ‘till the wall comes tumbling down

Pulling weeds and picking stones, chasing dreams and breaking bones
Got no choice but to grow my own ‘cause the winter’s close at hand
Grain for grain, drought and pain, find my way through nature’s chain
Tune my body and my brain to competition’s demand.

Plant those rows straight and long, thicker than with prayer and song.
Emperors will make you strong if your skillset’s very rare.
Old crow watching hungrily, from his perch in yonder tree.
In my garden I’m as free as that feathered thief up there.

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