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Finding Beauty After Trauma

By Rivka Fleischman

This year has been hard for all of us. For many reasons. Some the same and some different. Some of us lost loved ones. Some of us got sick and are living with long term symptoms. Some of us lost our jobs. Some of us were isolated and lonely for many months. Some of us lived with incredible fear of the unknown for many months.

Healing from trauma isn’t about forgetting what happened - when something hurts enough, there is no forgetting. It follows you around and haunts you, regardless of if you want it there or not. Forever, it will be a part of you.

“Grieving is how we experience the process of a very, very deep part of our psyches becoming familiar with a painful truth.” -Valentine

And healing from trauma is about grieving the hurt. It’s about processing the sadness, loss, and fear.

Sit for a minute with yourself. Notice the sadness, loss, and fear within you. Notice the pain you’ve been through. Notice what you’re needing to grieve for.

Grieving from trauma isn’t enough. It’s the first step to healing. The second step is finding meaning in the trauma. That doesn’t mean believing that the hurt was a good thing. Because no hurt is a good thing.

Kintsugi is a form of Japanese art where broken pottery is glued together to create a piece with imperfections. A beautiful piece of art made from broken shards. The beauty is not in the broken shards - it’s in how the pieces were put back together.

This year, we’ve become broken pottery. The turmoil and pain of the pandemic has broken us into small shards. Take a minute to sit with yourself. To notice the shards of yourself.

Beauty is not in our trauma - it’s in the way we put ourselves back together and in the person we’ve become.

Winter Solstice is about seeing the darkness in the world and facing it. But when things are dark enough, the pain, fear, and hurt can be overwhelming and prevent us from acting. It can prevent us from truly facing the darkness. This year, Solstice is about sitting with and healing from that pain. Together.

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