When we decided to orient Solstice around this theme, I believed that people were divided into those who gave up quickly when faced with challenges and those that continued trying long after they should. And I was in the first category. But as I sat down to write this and reflected on the past few months, I began to see that in each of us, we have both parts. And at different times, different parts come out. I began to wonder if I could identify a pattern of when I was pulled to each way of being.
Take a minute to think of a time that you desperately needed something. So much so that you would turn the world upside down to get it. Notice the sense of urgency when you think of the possibility of it not happening. Now take a minute to think of a time you needed something, but the fear of failure was so overwhelming that you couldn’t bring yourself to try. Notice the paralyzing feeling of fear when you think about trying.
When we think about the future, about the things that we need to do, we think in black and white terms: Either this is incredibly important and I cannot fail. Or this is too overwhelming, and I need to give up. The dialectic of black and white is not gray. It’s not combining the two thoughts into the average of it. It’s not saying something like “This is doable, but not very important.” The dialectic of black and white is plaid. It’s finding the synthesis of the two beliefs. A way for them both to exist in the world in their full form. This is an incredibly important thing for me to do and I feel like I cannot fail. And also, it will be incredibly hard and there is the possibility of failure.
The world is incredibly dark. There is so much that needs fixing. So much that feels urgent and hopeless. And tonight, we face down that darkness. Fully acknowledge and accept it. With full intention to change it. And fully acknowledge and accept the possibility that we will fail. With full intention not to fail.
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