Affect is a funny thing. It has a tendency to spread from initial causes - and that spread can be induced.
There is a meditative practice called metta meditation - this is also known as loving kindness meditation. The bright, shining feelings of love you have for those closest to you can flare outwards. You can nurse a candle of love and goodwill, and turn it into a bright flame of kindness. The positive affect for someone you love can grow to encompass all life.
The practice is actually fairly simple. I want you to think of someone important to you. Someone you love deeply…someone who you feel better for having known. It could be a family member, a partner, a mentor. Someone who brings out the best in you. I want you to think vividly about them - in fact, write their name down, and hold that paper during this exercise.
What you’re going to do is think to yourself the following things -
I want this person to be safe
I want this person to be happy
I want this person to be healthy
I want this person to be at peace in the world.
You’ll be doing that a few times, to really generate that feeling of love, kindness, the warmth this person brings you
Now, I want you to think of someone you’re indifferent to, like maybe a cashier at a place you frequent, or neighbor you’ve never introduced yourself to.
Focus on the feeling you got from the person you love…extend that to this person you are indifferent to, and continue the mantra
I want this person to be safe
I want this person to be happy
I want this person to be healthy
I want this person to be at peace in the world.
Now, we come to the tricky part. I want you to think about someone you dislike. Maybe your boss, or the dude who cut you off the other day. I don’t recommend starting with someone you truly loathe, it can inhibit the activity.
As before, focus on that feeling of love, the kindness you already grew to encompass someone you are indifferent to, extending it further to this person you dislike. It’s ok if it’s difficult - but please try your best….focus on the warmth
I want this person to be safe
I want this person to be happy
I want this person to be healthy
I want this person to be at peace in the world.
And now, for the last part, I want you to think back on the person you love, and then about this space…then maybe Boston…Massachusetts…the USA…zooming out to the whole world. Let that feeling grow, to encompass every human being that ever existed and ever will exist. And focus on the mantra
I want everyone to be safe
I want everyone to be happy
I want everyone to be healthy
I want everyone to be at peace in the world.
We will continue in silence for 5 minutes, continuing this mantra, letting love and kindness fill ourselves, this space, and the world. Every human is worth loving. Every human is worth kindness. And no human should ever face darkness.
As an aside, you should keep that paper with the name of your loved one on it - it will make for a good focus and a good reminder of this experience.
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